Welcome new friend!!!

I’m so happy you’ve made your way here!!!

Welcome to the Brainy Betties’ email list, Facebook group, or YouTube channel…however you’re finding me.

I’m thrilled to have you here!!!

I want to congratulate you on taking what might be the first step, to creating a life better than anything you could currently imagine.

I KNOW RIGHT NOW YOU DON’T TRUST ME

And I don’t blame you!


I’m know, right now, I’m just some random person on the internet who showed up on your newsfeed.

I also know you’ve tried literally EVERYTHING to get the body and life you want… this just comes with your personality type…and I know because I have the same personality type :)


And I know

YOU’VE BEEN BURNED BY COUNTLESS COACHES AND PROGRAMS IN YOUR LIFE.

So, you’re thinking “I’m sure this woman isn’t any different, but the group, emails, and/or videos are free, why not give it a shot?”

But, I want you to understand, I want to earn your trust. Because what I have for you is real…


I used to be RIGHT where you are RIGHT now.

I used to be this body hating, food fearing, exercise obsessed, perfectionistic woman.


It was so painful and it consumed my whole entire life.

But, it was my job (spiritually it was my job) to experience all of this stuff and overcome it so I could help you.

It was my job to learn the in’s and out’s of science that’s specific to the female and post-menopausal metabolism, the mindsets specific to perfectionist women, and how ALL of these things are intertwined and playing off of each other to keep you struggling…


So, that beyond a shadow of a doubt (even beyond my own experiences), I can help you

get lean for good AND create that life-long peace with your body, your food, and your exercise.


The information I bring to you is based on:

  • My master’s degree in exercise physiology

  • 20 years of my own experiences

  • 15 years of experience in the fitness, food, and self-improvement industry…helping hundreds of women just like you!

  • Multiple certifications and constant continuing education

  • And information from ONLY world-renowned experts in their respective fields of nutrition, biochemistry, body image, psychology etc.

I eat, sleep, and breathe helping you create body, food, and exercise freedom…

Because the quality of your life (and those close to you) depends on it.


Other than being mom to my daughter, this is my life’s purpose.

I know you’re probably thinking,

“Wow, that’s extreme and pretty deep for a first meeting! And aren’t you exaggerating a little?”

No I’m not. Because here’s the reality….

This company isn’t just about getting you lean and at peace with your body, food, and exercise…

It’s to help you create peace with yourself and your life as well…

Because they’re all intertwined.

Meaning…

It’s to help you overcome your perfectionism.

Because..

Text placeholder (3).png


And before you get all huffy perfectionista,

hear me out….



First of all,

if you don’t want to be open to this concept, you are free to leave right now or whenever you want.

Leave the group, unsubscribe from the emails, or the Youtube Channel.

Nobody is holding you here.


But, if you want to be open to this idea,

this idea that will help you create and uncover your most amazing life,

listen closely…



I know you’re thinking,

“Perfectionism isn’t a bad thing, it’s just high achieving…I have high standards.”

No….

 
Perfectionism is Not High Achieving.png
 
 

High achieving is something you want for YOU…

 
 
Perfectionism.png
 

So, you can prove to other people that you are “good enough.”


And ultimately,

you’re trying to prove your own worthiness to yourself.


You can be a high achiever AND a perfectionist. But, they are 2 different things.

Perfectionism looks like:


  • “I will finally be good enough when my body looks like that. I will finally be able to be happy then.”


  • “I’m sick today, but I need to get my workout in or I will feel guilty for falling further away from getting my ideal body.”


  • “The Halloween party at school is coming up. I better make sure I bring the most delicious, most creative cookies for the kids …I don’t want those other mom’s to think since I work full time, and am great at my job, that I not a good mom too.”


  • “At work, I just won the award for being the most awesome of all the awesome. But, yea that’s great, but not good enough. I will finally be able to be happy and celebrate when I win this other award…I will be good enough then.”


  • “I have to give this speech at work tomorrow. And my boss said it looks great, but I think it’s horrible! It’s now midnight, but I have to keep working on it. It’s just not good enough until it’s perfect….I don’t want my co-workers to think I’m not great at my job.”


  • “My body is tired and could use a nap. But, resting is for weak people, I need to make sure I’m being productive or I will feel lazy for not getting as much done as possible.”


Understand,

 
Text placeholder (3).png
 



In your head you think,

“If I can control and “perfect” everything, I will be able to control how other people view me.

I will then be able to win their approval, and when I have their approval, I will then be able to feel worthy in myself.”


But!

This thinking is not true because:

 
Text placeholder (3).png
 

And these are good things of course!

But, when you’re caught in this perfectionism trap and putting your worthiness in the hands of others, it’s a recipe for a hamster wheel of a life.

And constantly jumping through hoops trying to prove your worthiness…

Hence why you’re exhausted…


It’s this outside search for your worthiness, this trying to control and “perfect” EVERYTHING, that’s:


  • Making it WAAAAY harder for you to get the fitness results you want


  • Creating MASSIVE amounts of unnecessary exhaustion


    and…

  • stealing your WHOLE ENTIRE life from you


 
orange.png



How YOUR PERFECTIONISM affects your metabolism…

 
despise.JPG
 


To you, “perfect” habits means more strict or more extreme.

But, this very ‘black and white’, ‘all or nothing’ way of thinking gets you in trouble when it comes to dealing with the human body (your metabolism)…

Your way of thinking makes the metabolism rebel…

by stopping fat loss, or even reversing it.

How?


  • You Thinking More Effort is Always Better with Exercise. That Getting the Body You Want is JUST a Matter of Hard Work…

Dealing with your metabolism is a science.

A science of calories AND hormones. Over-exercising in general or doing too much of the wrong type of exercise upsets these hormones.


  • You Thinking Being Stricter with Food is Always Better…

You don’t let your body have any say in what it needs for nutrients or even amounts of nutrients.

Again, this upsets the hormones and can either cause fat loss to just stop and/or cause you to overeat.


  • You thinking Just Because a Food is Healthy, It’s Conducive to Fat Loss…


    Not only is this wrong science wise (because again how certain foods affect hormones), but it also creates mindset issues around food as well.


  • The Way You Live Your Whole Life Makes You Work Against Your Fitness Results as Well…


Sleep:

You’re so busy doing, you don’t prioritize sleep. Or you just don’t think it’s that important. Hear me loud and clear, EVERYTHING starts with sleep. Keeping your hormones happy starts with sleep.

Rest:

You feel guilty for resting. You think you should be doing something productive. But, again, when you’re taking your body to the extreme and not letting it rest, your metabolism HATES this.

Stress:

Stress management is HUGE with fat loss.

ESPECIALLY AFTER MENOPAUSE!!!…***You can learn about fat loss after Menopause in the Menopause specific video on Brainy Betties’ YouTube channel.***

But because you think stress doesn’t have calories or that constantly doing, doing, doing, is always better, AGAIN you’re messing with your hormones and working against yourself.

And really, rest and sleep fall under stress management as well.



***Did you notice that everything I listed was an ‘All or Nothing’ way of thinking??

You like these ‘all or nothing’ ways of thinking because you can control them.

But, really, they’re controlling you and preventing you from getting the results you want AND living a happy peaceful life.



How YOUR PERFECTIONISM affects your Mindset with Food and Exercise…

 
EatingCake.JPG
 



Your measuring stick (how you evaluate if you did a “good” job with your habits) is perfection.

This sets you up for misery and failure right from the beginning.


But, what happens when you don’t realize this?

You think YOU’RE the problem. That you have a willpower problem. That you just need to double down and try harder.

This makes you:

Over-exercise to burn more calories…

Then most of the time you end up making your problem worse (because of it’s effects on your hormones/metabolism.)

Use Exercise as a Punishment…

For not having the body you want yet OR because you ate something “bad.”

Overeat From Shame…

You feel like such a horrible person because you weren’t “perfect” with your food, or that you “fell off the wagon,” you eat an enormous amount of food in the moment. Because you tell yourself, “I’m never going to do that again.”

Get a ‘Better Than Thou’ Complex Around Food…

Since it’s such a struggle for you to live in Perfectionville with food, when you see someone else who isn’t as strict with their food, you think you’re better than them.

Fear Food…

Eating meals becomes stressful because it always comes back to, “Is this meal going to make me gain weight?”


***Most Important Thing to Get Out of This Section***

 
WHEN YOU THINK YOUR ANSWER (1).png
 

When you think your answer is JUST about working harder, you keep ramming your head into a wall thinking:

“I’m just not doing enough. If I do more, I will get the result I want.”



 
This Prevents You From Creating a Plan Based in Science.png
 

When you think this way, you can’t see the forest through the trees when it comes to efficiency.

And most of the time, you continue working against yourself for this reason.

This then creates deeper mindset and metabolism problems.


As you can see,

your mindset around food and exercise Can not only make eating and exercise miserable…

but, there’s also overlap in how your mindset affects your metabolism.

All of this stuff is so intertwined..

Which you’re going to see even more clearly as we go through this letter.




kjhkj.png


Because you’re worth is on it.

Period.

As long as your worth is on your body, lean will NEVER be lean enough.

Have you EVER been happy with your body? Even at your leanest?

You will ALWAYS feel like…

“If I lose another 5 pounds I will be happy, I will be at peace, I will be worthy.”

But, you won’t feel this way….

Because this isn’t where worthiness or peace is found.

Understand, this doesn’t mean you can’t have fat loss at a goal!

It just means that FAT LOSS can’t be done from the angle of you trying to find your worthiness. Because you will never be happy.


AND!!!

Understand, being a body perfectionist exacerbates your food and exercise perfectionism (the “perfecting” and controlling of food and exercise.)





How Your Perfectionism (1).png


  • You’re CONSTANLTY Exhausted


-You think your workouts are supposed to murder you to be effective

-You feel guilty resting or sleeping when you should be “getting things done”

-Nothing you do is ever good enough…you spend so much time trying to “perfect” everything in your life.


————————————-


  • YOU Aren’t Making Your Own Decisions

It’s not about what YOU want.

It’s about what you’ve been told you “should” want.

By culture, by another person, or whatever.

You’re living your life for someone or something else.


————————————-


  • You Don’t Know Who You REALLY Are

I know you’re huffing right now and saying, “Of course I know who I am!”

But, is this person you know actually your authentic self?

Because knowing your surface, and knowing the depths of who you are (your authentic self), are two different things.

You’ve spent your whole life focused on becoming an image that you think you’re supposed to be, that you’ve been distracted from finding (or valuing) who you are on the deepest levels.

Don’t get me wrong, you are VERY well acquainted with your surface…

Because since this is where you have you’re worthiness, you are constantly aware of what you have or don’t have, and how that compares to other women. You’re constantly comparing how you “measure up” to other women and wanting what you don’t have so you can “ensure” you’re more “worthy” than the next woman.

This comparison game, and constantly wanting what you don’t have (to “ensure your worthiness”) has completely distracted you from finding, feeling and living as your authentic self…

Living in your actual worthiness.



—————————————



  • You Don’t Love Yourself

In trying to be some “perfect” mythical version of yourself, you’re really missing your own unique greatness.

And when you’re not living in your own unique greatness, and you don’t know who you are at your depths, you can’t love yourself.


——————————————


  • You Don’t Have Inner Peace

Since you don’t love yourself, you lack inner peace.

Then, you end up hustling for a fake version of inner peace just like you do your worthiness.

You try to create inner peace by controlling things outside of you. Controlling things gives you a false and fleeting sense of calm…which to you, feels like brief moments of inner peace.

But, it isn’t.

Inner peace isn’t fleeting, and it’s NOT something you hustle for. It’s just something you have when you truly love yourself.


——————————————


  • You’re Never Able to FULLY Enjoy the moment you’re in

Your brain is so pre-occupied with trying to do “all the things” to be worthy.

It’s constantly thinking about proving yourself to people in your past and/or how to be this “perfect” person in the future so you don’t have to feel the stings of unworthiness ever again (even though we know this doesn’t work.)

You’re living in the past and the future. But, never usually in the moment.

———————————————

It Hurts Your Relationships…


Spouse

Your spouse might spend their whole life telling you how wonderful you are.

Because not only does it hurt them to watch you feel this way about yourself, but they know it’s also getting in the way of the quality and connectedness of the relationship.

But, they can say it until they’re blue in the face, it’s not going to matter.

Because this is an inside job.

Something YOU have to choose to overcome yourself. And until you FEEL it and KNOW it for yourself, your relationship will never be as connected as it could be.


Children

Most perfectionists unknowingly push this onto their children.

Most perfectionists will see their children living a life where they don’t love themselves, they’re hustling for their worthiness, and the parents can’t figure out why.

But, this CAN be reversed when the parent changes and shares her new life with her child. Even when the children are adults. I’ve seen it happen…it’s so beautiful.


——————————————


This is just scratching the surface of how perfectionism IS STEALING from your life…

But, I want you to be able to finish this letter today.


***IMPORTANT***

Being a self and life perfectionist exacerbates your body perfectionism, which as you know, exacerbates your food and exercise perfectionism.

It all runs downstream.

This is why, if you ever want to TRULY overcome this stuff, AND live your dream life, you have to address where it’s stemming from.






i know.png
 
  • “Thinking this way is what’s helped me create the fitness I do have, has made me successful in my life, and create so many other achievements. It’s what keeps me motivated and keeps me in-line.”

And it can to some degree. But, so can high achieving.

And the problem when you go the perfectionist route instead is, the price you pay for your ROI of energy is way too high, AND you NEVER really get what you want.

But, I assure you, when you overcome your perfectionism, you will be a million times more efficient and successful. With waaaay more energy to spare and happiness beyond your wildest dreams.

And this is backed up by science, in all aspects. This isn’t just me sweet talking you :)

THERE IS a science to human energy management and productivity, and perfectionists live their lives in the exact opposite way.



—————————————-

  • “If I overcome my perfectionism, and I don’t have it driving me anymore, I will become lazy and gain weight.”

This is a normal thing to think, but again, it’s just not true.

As you overcome your perfectionism, you will have these feelings because you are going from being obsessed, to a normal level of caring.

Your personality type will never have to worry about not being driven. There’s just a difference between a healthy level of caring (aka high achieving) and obsessions driving your behavior (perfectionism.)

It will feel like you’re getting “lazier,” but it’s really just the obsessions loosening their grip on you.

As you overcome them, you will adjust to this new feeling, and realize this is actually the feeling of freedom…you’re just not used to feeling free right now.


———————————-


  • “This person is just who I am.”

Nope.

Again, this person is ANYTHING but who you really are. It’s the complete opposite actually.

You just feel like this is who you are because you’ve lived like this for so long.

All of this stuff has been learned and can be unlearned…if you choose to do the work.

————————————

  • “This is a lot of stuff! This feels impossible to overcome!”

I assure you it’s not.

I have women do it all the time.

But! It does take time. These are deeply engrained habits and thought patterns that take a lot of effort and consistency to overcome.

It’s just up to you whether you want to do the work to create and uncover your dream life.

But, I know your personality, you’re up for a challenge :)


 
 

I want to make something clear…

the reason.png

You are one of the most driven women on the planet.

Your problem is ABSOLUTELY NOT a lack of effort.


Hence one of the reasons, I want to help you.

You are ABSOLUTELY driven enough to create the life you want. It’s just that right now you think all things in life are all just about hard work.

But, this stuff isn’t.

This is all about efficiency and understanding why what you’re doing isn’t efficient in getting you the outcome you’re after.

Work smart first. And then as hard as you need to second :)


 

Understand this:

I didn’t choose to specialize in perfectionist women JUST because I used to be one

I Didn't Choose.png

The situation is so complex,with so many factors keeping them struggling, they have a have a hell of a time making their way out on their own.


Not completely impossible on their own…but, they have one hell of a time.

They just don’t know how because there’s so many intertwined factors playing off each other, they don’t know how to untangle it themselves.

As you read, having self and life perfectionism, exacerbates body perfectionism, and body perfectionism exacerbates food and exercise perfectionism. The problem is very layered and tangled.

And this life they’re living right now, this constant hustle for their worthiness, eventually turns into a resentful, sad person on their deathbed. They end up living their whole entire life not feeling good enough, trying to live a life for other people, and not understanding why people didn’t see their value.

I’m watching this in a family member right now and it breaks my heart. Not just for her, but for everyone that goes out of here feeling like that.

A life of perfectionism is not truly living.


 
Text placeholder (2).png

If anything I’ve said resonates with you…

book your free clarity call with me!

Lets get on the phone together so I can give you

clarity around what’s holding YOU back specifically from staying lean AND creating peace with your body, food, exercise, and self.

We will look at:

  • How you’re eating

  • How you’re exercising

  • YOUR body’s unique needs

  • Where your mindset is with your food, exercise, and self.

You can tell me what’s working and what's not working.

And if in YOUR unique situation, I can help you solve those problems, I will share with you how I can do that.

And If not, I will let you know.

I love helping you get This clarity and I can’t wait to speak with you!!!

Sound good?

Wonderful! 

Book your free clarity call with me here…

Go to:

BrainyBetties.co/Apply

OR

Click button below!

 
 
You Aren't Going to Get Closer.png

You Don’t Want to Wait on This My Friend…

This problem IS NOT going to fix itself with time.

What it is GOING TO DO is get worse with time and more cemented into who you are…

making it even harder to overcome.

Never impossible! But, waiting DOES NOT make this problem better.

 
Thinking You're Going to Fix this on.png

There’s a VERY SMALL chance you could fix this problem on your own…and this is me being optimistic.


But, hypothetically, lets say you did figure it out on your own.

You figured out all the:


  • Food Science

  • Exercise Science

  • Female/post-menopausal metabolism specific science

  • The food and exercise mindsets

  • The body image mindsets

  • The self/life perfectionism mindsets

  • AND how all these things are intertwined.

How long do you think this would take?

How many more years is trying to figure this out going to take from your life?

AND, How many decades have you already spent trying to figure it out?

 
How Do You Want.png

This problem has already stolen so much from your life...

Do you want the second half of your life to be different than the first?

Do you want to live your happiest and most fulfilling life?

One where you’re:

  • Confident in your own skin

  • Confident in yourself

  • Have the most fulfilling relationships

  • And have loads of energy to spare

OR

Do you want this problem to get worse?

Where you become:

  • resentful

  • more exhausted

  • More unfulfilled

  • and at the end of your life, look back and see a life you never truly loved with your whole heart?

These are your only 2 options…

It’s going to be one or the other.

So, if you want the second half of your life to be not only better, but more amazing than you could even imagine...

you need to take action now!

 
 
Think About (1).png

If this doesn’t feel like a big enough problem for you to solve RIGHT NOW, I want you to…

think about the other people in your life who are affected by you constantly hustling for your worthiness and not living in your own worth…

  • How much better would your family unit be if you didn’t feel guilty for taking breaks and were able to be FULLY present with them?

  • How much better would your intimate relationship be if you weren’t always self-conscious in the bedroom or worrying your partner might be thinking about other women?

When you are fully living in your worth, not only will these problems be non-existent, but the connection between the two of you will skyrocket…because it will be based in who you REALLY are…you will finally allow your partner (and yourself) to see the REAL you.

And most importantly,

  • How much better off would your children and/or grandchildren be if they saw you setting the example of living in your own worthiness?

    Perfectionism is EASILY passed down to children, especially girls. The perfectionism in my family was 3 generations deep…until I broke it.

    And I just got off the phone with a woman who the same thing happened to her…I see this generational perfectionism all the time!!!

    But again! If you have adult children who are perfectionists, it’s NOT too late!!! It’s NEVER too late.

    You setting the example will not only show them what this new amazing life looks like, but it will also give them the grace they need to overcome it in themselves.

    THIS improves both of your lives and massively deepens your relationship with each other.



talk.png

“My big project at work is over.”

“My schedule changes at work”

“My daughter graduates from college”

“My son’s wedding is over this summer”

These are all just examples of your fear and perfectionism talking.

This is just a phone call!

Your fear will try and justify anything to keep it’s grips on you.

And guess what? After these are over, there will be something else that will come up…this is just how it goes.

There will ALWAYS be something going on in your life that will make it feel like a less than opportune time.

The difference between you creating your new life and not, is you CHOOSING to make the call even when life doesn’t feel “perfect”…because I can assure you, it NEVER will.

 
Text placeholder (2).png

i want you to know…

I am here for you!

And I promise, I’m not scary…

This is me awaiting your call :)

 
AshleyShoborg-163.jpg
 

Although, I promise I will be more awake when we talk haha!

You and I are a just going to have a normal conversation from my cell phone to yours like two “normal” humans.

And again, on the phone we will be getting you:

clarity around what’s holding YOU back specifically from staying lean AND creating peace with your body, food, exercise, and self.

We will discuss:

  • How you’re eating

  • How you’re exercising

  • YOUR body’s unique needs

  • Where your mindset is with your food, exercise, and self.

You can tell me what’s working and what's not working.

And if in YOUR unique situation, I can help you solve those problems, I will share with you how I can do that.

And If not, I will let you know that too.

I can’t wait to hear from you!

Welcome again my new friend!

~Ashley