Why the Company You Keep is So Important to the Quality of Your Life


Training people in a small town I often hear things like:

- “You know other people who actually love themselves?”

- “You know other people who don’t constantly get caught up in gossip and talk crap about other people to make themselves feel better?”

Yea, I do.

Because those are the people I choose to let into my mind (my newsfeed, my books, my personal time etc.)

And over the weekend, I was in a room with 2,500 people like that. I was at a conference with entrepreneurs whose main focus is to better humanity. These people want to better themselves so they can better help others.

Being around that many genuine people at the same time helps you level up- get rid of more of your shitty layers.

It elevates you spiritually.

One of the speakers, Dr. Shefali (expert in conscious parenting) said, “Growth is deconstructive.” Meaning, in order to grow, you have to peel back the layers and get rid of the garbage holding you back.

At Brainy Betties we talk a lot about being your authentic self -because this is part of overcoming negative body image and negative relationships with fitness.

And part of uncovering your authentic self is removing the layers of garbage (untrue and negative thoughts) that have been put on you by our society or upbringing that hold you back from seeing who you really are (not who you think you “should” be, but who you really are) and living as that person.

We can always rise to our next level of spirituality (remove more layers of our garbage.)

This is always something I am trying to do.  Sometimes the specific layers need to be pointed out to you, other times it’s just the company and energy you keep.

This is why the people you hang around are so important to the quality of your life.

Are they people that are trying to bring other people up? Or are they living in gossip and hiding behind the fear of not being good enough?

Because this is what gossip is…it’s comparing ourselves to others so we feel worthy. It’s really a constant comparison of where we “stand” in the world. “How am I doing/How am I measuring up?” in a sense.

But, this is the problem…our society is using the wrong measuring stick…

People in our society think that their happiness is outside of themselves (how successful they are, how they look, what they drive,) aka how they measure up to others.

But, the truth is, our happiness and our wholeness is already present. It’s inside. We just need to remove the garbage to be able to see it!

So, when you’re in a room full of such genuine and loving energy, you can’t help, but to level up. It makes you see life even clearer than you did before. It helps you be more of who you are because it just solidifies what’s truly important in your life and the lives of others (humanity.)

This makes you live in a happier, more fulfilled, and joyous state.

Pretty awesome if you ask me.

So, needless to say I will be returning next September to get more nuggets from some of the brightest most caring people in the world.

Not only to better Brainy Betties, but myself.

Be Fit AND Happy!


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I'm Not Teaching My Daughter to 'Work off' Her Ice Cream


Tonight my 3 and ½ yr old daughter and I had ice cream sundaes, then we exercised.

We didn’t exercise because we had ice cream. I just decided I wanted ice cream first and of course she was down for that. So, we had our ice cream and then we worked out (of course her workout only consisted of some wiggling and squiggling :) 

But, there was no talk about “Oh, mommy is so bad for eating ice cream, she needs to go work it off.” We enjoyed our ice cream and our workouts as separate parts of our life. 

There will never be any talk in this house about needing to punish ourselves with exercise for what we ate. Nor will there ever be any foods that we are “bad” for eating. She will understand that there are foods that are appropriate to live on and others that are treats that we will have more sparingly. 

When we attach our quality of person to our food choices or get in the habit of connecting our food with our exercise, this becomes a viscous cycle of negativity. 

Unless, of course if we’re talking about eating to fuel our workouts-than that’s a different story. I don't normally plan to have a lot of sugar before my workouts, but it did make the workout better! I put that sugar to good use :)

So, this is what I will be teaching my daughter and one of the many positive messages I try to spread with Brainy Betties.

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Be Fit AND Happy!


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Behind A Woman Apologizing for Her Existence


Earlier today, I was standing behind an 80-year old woman in the grocery store checkout. 

As she loaded her groceries onto the belt she apologized to me. 

I asked her, “For what?” But, she didn’t hear me so I let it go. She then proceeded to tell me in a half joking tone, “I was hungry today, so I guess I should’ve stayed home.” At this point, she confirmed my suspicions. 


She felt she had to apologize for “holding me up”-that she wasn’t even worthy enough to hold up space in a grocery store line. She then further confirmed this thought by apologizing to the bagger for having to bag her groceries. 

This woman is a product of our culture.

A culture that likes to keep women small. She’s been “taught” that if she stays small she will be more liked. If she’s physically smaller, mentally smaller, and even verbally smaller, than she will be more worthy.

This mindset finds her apologizing for EVERYTHING because she feels she’s constantly messing up.

As women in our culture, we are always saying “I’m sorry.” We are apologizing for things that there’s absolutely no need to apologize for. This behavior comes from a lack of worthiness. A lack of worthiness that we’ve been taught by our culture. 

We are all born knowing our worth, but we live in a culture that makes us change our minds. 

It’s this same culture and mindset of ‘being less’ that makes us want to diet, exercise until our brains fall out, and let the scale dictate our daily mood- if we let it. 

It’s ALSO this same culture and mindset that controls our whole entire life and our happiness.


Today, after this woman left, my first thought was “Wow! What is this world missing because this woman didn’t have enough confidence in herself to give her gift?” 

This woman is going to die with her gift inside her. 

Don’t be like her. Learn from her. How are you staying small in your life? How are you letting our culture define you and determine your happiness? And ultimately, how is this affecting your ability to give your gift?

Apologize if you have wronged someone. DO NOT apologize for your existence. 

Be Fit AND Happy!


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