Why Being Superwoman is Hurting Your fitness…and what You Can Do Instead.

 
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Do you own your own life and only your life?

Or do you try to save the world by trying to take on EVERYONE’S garbage that has nothing to do with you?

I’m going to be very blunt with you.

If you want to be fit long-term, you have to own your life, teach the people closest to you how to own theirs’s (so you don’t have to ALWAYS pick up the slack) and discern where people really need your help or if they’re just taking advantage of you.

When it comes to getting fit long-term, aka in REAL life (not some quick fix fad diet or exercise program)...

how you live your WHOLE ENTIRE life matters.

And for many women in America, this means learning how to let others help themselves.

Because Superwoman gets tired. And when Superwoman gets tired and burnt out, she has no time or energy left over to tend to her own health.

Remember, you DESERVE to be well-cared for too. Not just everyone else. And not JUST because then you can better care for someone else. This is great, but you deserve it just because you are worthy of it.

You are worthy of living a life of health, happiness and joy.

End of story.

But, this isn’t going to happen if you are taking on everyone’s garbage.

And just to be clear, there’s a difference between having little kids (who really do need your help) and having “friends” and family members in your life letting you do shit for them just because you are willing and want to help.

Remember this, the more you do, the more people will expect.

And…

You teach people how to treat you.

Also, when we help someone just because we can and they expect it, we aren’t really doing them any favors for their future. They need to be able to care for themselves to be healthy, happy, and joyful as well.

So, of course I’m not saying don’t help other people. We are on this planet to help others in some way or another.

What I’m saying is, make sure you are helping for the right reasons and that it’s not taking away from YOUR health (and if it is, that it’s something special and you’re making the conscious choice to do it.)

Right Reasons:

Because you love them, they are truly appreciative, and they might not have been able to do it without you.

Wrong Reasons:

-Because this is where you gather your worthiness from (really ponder this one.)

-Because they are guilting you into it.

-They aren’t appreciative.

-They could have done it themselves, but they just know you will do it for them, so they let you.

*These will be at the expense of your health.

We only have so much energy to go around. And when it’s being given to things that aren’t really a priority, we have less for ourselves.

Fitness doesn’t live in a bubble.

If you want to be fit, you need to look at how you live your WHOLE life. Not just your exercise and food.

Be Fit AND Happy!

~Ashley

 

Part of being Fit AND Happy is having the BALANCE in our lives to pull off being fit in real life.

To learn more about Brainy Betties and how you can become Fit AND Happy in REAL life click here

Is Your Perfectionism Stealing Your Happiness?

 

*Video Summary. Full Written Blog Below.*

 

Are you tired all the time because you feel guilty for resting?

Are you constantly trying to keep up some image of “perfection?”

I call you the Superwoman Perfectionist. These are hard shoes to be in. I know because I used to be in them.

Difference Between a High Achiever and a Perfectionist

I know you might be saying “Well I am a high achiever, I like to push my limits and see what I’m capable of.” This is awesome and yes these are the words of a high achiever, but there is a difference between a high achiever and a perfectionist.

A high achiever is driven from within. A perfectionist is driven by trying to avoid shame. The shame of not-being-good-enough in the eyes of others.

Why We Live Like This

Our culture constantly pushes the images of the “perfect woman” and the “perfect life.”

A culture of women looking a certain way, acting a certain way, having certain material items, juggling multiple responsibilities, and a culture of busyness. When a friend asks us how we are, the typical response is “I’m busy.” And our friend says “Yea I’m busy too.”

It’s like if we’re busy, we’re worthy-we’re living up to the cultural standards. We put busy up on some life pedestal.

But, is this really giving us the great life we’re striving for?

Are we truly full of Joy? And living life to the fullest? Or are we actually too tired to fully live and be fully present in our own life?

 
 

Joy and Perfectionism Don’t Mix

The thing is, this “perfect” doesn’t exist and it has us living in an imaginary world of trying to keep up with others or look good for others- and it’s stealing our life from us. Stealing our joy.

Joy is the Deeper Good Mood of the Soul

Happiness is a surface emotion that fluctuates, but joy is that deeper feeling of contentment on a soul level. When we are constantly try to be “good enough” for something outside of ourselves, our soul doesn’t have the chance to be content and happy.

What This Means for Your Life

Not only does this affect the quality of your life (the way you feel about it and the way you feel about yourself), but it also affects how much energy you have to put towards other things that would make your life fuller.

Like exercise!

A perfectionist dealing with exercise can look like 3 different scenarios:

1.  Since you believe more is ALWAYS better and you’d feel less than worthy if you didn’t annihilate yourself during your workouts, you push your way through your exhausting workout sessions-increasing your chronic fatigue.

2. You get ‘all or nothing’ with it. So, if you know you can’t do the whole thing, you don’t do anything at all.

3. You end up saying “The hell with it” because you’re just so exhausted from all the other areas in your life where you’re trying to be perfect.

Either way, none of these are creating a positive relationship with exercise.

How You Can Think Differently to Make Your Life Better

Are you living your life for yourself or for others?

I am not talking about not helping others, I am talking about, are you making choices in your life because of what others will think about you? Or are you making decisions that are yours and make your life fuller?

How can you tell?

When you make a decision that is truly for you, it will make you feel fuller and more content. If it’s not, you will feel like it’s taking away from you and you are somewhat being forced into it.

You will be feeling “forced” because you’re trying to avoid shame. Not choosing to live your fullest life.

 
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Escape Your Perfectionism Prison

Life doesn’t have to feel like this.

You don’t have to go from day to day struggling for your worth. Your worth is already in there. You just need to realize it and choose to live from this place every day.

Stop giving your power away to others.

Be Fit AND Happy!

~Ashley

Do you want to be fit, but also live a balanced and fulfilled life?

Click here!