Why Brainy Betties was Created: Post #3 Mindset of Self

 
Ashley040217-48.jpg
 

This is post 3 in the Why We Were Created Series. See bottom for full list.

Most people who purchase personal training are women.

Why?

Do women have more money than men?

No.

Do they care more about their health?

No.

Are they more motivated?

Yes.

But why?

Women are More Motivated to Change the Way They Look Because This is What They’ve Been Taught to Put Their Value On

Many times when a woman purchases personal training she thinks, “This is the answer to my happiness. I will now have a “great” body and I will be happy.”

The problem is, traditional personal training does’t deal with the underlying driver of a women’s unhappiness (where she has her worth.) And many times, just focusing on fitness and ignoring this worthiness fact, makes this situation worse.

I’m not saying that becoming fitter doesn’t make a women happier, because of course it can.

It’s just a slippery and incomplete slope.

Incomplete because it’s not enough to achieve the level of happiness that women think they’re going to get.

And slippery because a lot of times it can make the problem worse.

When worthiness isn’t being addressed, and we’re now focusing even more on outward appearances, it can continue to drive and deepen the obsession of appearance. The obsession of trying to be “good enough.” Aka worthy.

Unless a woman takes her self-worth off her appearance, she will never be truly happy

She might be happier than she was before she got fit, but it’s not a deep level of happiness and joy of life.

It’s still a mindset of trying to be “good enough.” Now it’s just trying to stay “good enough” or trying to be even “better.”

This unhealthy relationship with a woman and her body/self is what drives unhealthy relationships with her food, exercise, and life.

How This affects a Woman’s Relationship with Her Food, Exercise, and Life

How a woman feels about her body is usually a direct reflection of how she feels about herself.

Our culture has taught her that her worthiness IS her body.

Food and Exercise

THIS is what makes women do crazy diets and exercise fads.

THIS is the driver behind developing unhealthy relationships with food and exercise. Because food and exercise directly affect the way a woman’s body looks.

Our culture just takes advantage of these problems with selling women quick fix “solutions.”

“Solutions” that further enhance these problems.

***You can read about that in the first two posts of this series:

#1 Why we were created: Mindset around Food

#2 Why we were created: Mindset around Exercise

Life

The way our culture talks to women (where a woman has decided to put her worthiness) also affects the way she lives her everyday life.

Is she putting EVERYONE else’s needs before her own because the is what she’s been told she’s supposed to do?

Or

Does she try SOOOO hard to be “perfect” in everything that she does? Because this is what our culture told her she needs to do be a “worthy” woman?

Both of these are exhausting.

And neither lead to a healthy and fulfilled life.

***I will be talking about these life mindsets more in the next post of this series:

Why We Were Created: Mindset Around Life

I Know All This Because I Have Lived It

And have watched many other women live it as well.

I’ve been fit for a long time. But, not Fit AND Happy for a long time.

I’ve actually been leaner than I am right now and was way more unhappy. I was stuck in the body obsession rabbit hole. Enough was never enough.

And it was never going to be enough until I changed my mindset.

It has not been all that long that I have been fit and truly happy-around 5 years. And I’ve been into fitness for the last 15.

This level of happiness never came until I liberated myself from having my value on my appearance

This doesn’t mean that I don’t care about my appearance.

It just means I’m not obsessed with it.

And it’s not by any means where I derive my value from my myself or my life.

You might look at me and say, “Well that’s easy for you to say, you’re fit. It’s easy for you to just liberate yourself.”

Ha! I can assure you it’s the exact opposite. I’m held to an even higher “standard” being in personal training.

I just choose to create my own standards and live by my own rules.

And I teach other women how to do the same.

THIS is the true heart of Brainy Betties

This component right here is what sets women free and gives them that level of happiness they are actually after.

To be Fit AND Happy, the inner work needs to be done. It’s not just an exercise and food thing-it’s a mindset of self-thing.

This is the whole AUTHENTIC piece of our educational program (we have FIT, AUTHENTIC, and BALANCED-Living the F.A.B. life)

AUTHENTIC is all about this deeper happiness piece. It helps women feel great in their own skin (regardless of their level of fitness at the time) and put their worth where it’s supposed to be.

It allows them to live their life as who they truly are-not constantly trying to live up to some imaginary standard.

This piece right here is why I’m excited to get up at 5am every Friday morning. I LOVE seeing women make their way through these inner changes-and how they change ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING in that woman’s life.

This is why I do what I do.  

Be Fit AND Happy!

~Ashley

Click here if you would like to learn how you can be Fit AND Happy!

 

Posts in the Why We Were Created Series:

1.   Mindset Around Food

2.  Mindset Around Exercise

3.   Mindset of Self

4.   Mindset Around Life (Coming Soon)

5.   Food, Exercise, Life, and Self-How They’re All Intertwined (Coming Soon)

6.   Food, Exercise, Life, and Self-A Cultural Problem (Coming Soon)

7.   Education that Gets to the Bottom of Deeper Behavioral Issues (Coming Soon)

8.   Education that Can Be Individualized (Coming Soon)

9.   A Cure for Information Overload (Coming Soon) 

Why Brainy Betties was Created: Post #2 Mindset Around Exercise

 
AshleyShoborg-34.jpg
 

*This is post 2 in the Why We Were Created Series. See bottom for full list.

Have you ever heard anyone say:

“More exercise is always better!”

Or

“If I don’t annihilate myself, or make sure I hurt to the point I can barely walk tomorrow, I didn’t have a good workout”

Or

“I can’t do my whole workout so I might as well not do anything at all.”

Or

“It doesn’t matter that you’re sick, show up and push through! Be beastmode!”

All of this is just downright stupid and I will tell you why….

Because EVERY SINGLE ONE of these is what causes people to eventually fail.

I know you’re saying, “Wait, what? I thought this was what I needed to do to be successful?”

Well, here’s the truth:

The mainstream fitness media is came up with these mindsets because they want to:

1. Make Money (as their main priority)

2. Make it look like their products/program “work” by giving people short-term gains.

These terrible mindsets work WONDERFULLY in the short-term, but they kill you in the long-term.

You NEED these mindsets to have drastic short-term results.

And this is what these companies want. They want you to have these drastic short-term results because it not only “proves” that their programs “work”, but it’s also giving you want you want.

The problem is, it isn’t giving you what you NEED.

And it’s making your chance of being successful for the long-term even harder.

People fail with these mindsets because they are relying on willpower and eventually become exhausted

This line of becoming exhausted is different for everyone. For some people it’s a month. For others it’s a year, 5 years, or even ten years!

But, when the person eventually gives up (because they’re human), they feel like it’s their fault.

And of course this is what the company wants.

They want people to think it was their fault. That they just didn’t try hard enough, or weren’t beastmode enough or whatever the eff else. Not that it’s their (the company’s) fault.

So, then it’s on you.

When really, this is the furthest thing from the truth.

These poor mindsets around exercise is the 2nd reason that Brainy Betties has been created.

Being efficient with exercise and having the right mindsets around it is so important because it ensures that it CAN become a lifelong habit.

Like I said in Why Brainy Betties was Created post #1 Mindset Around Food, there are many AMAZING people in this industry working against these mindsets along with me.

But, we need more.

We need more companies making the public understand why these mindsets are so damaging.

Since your mind controls everything that you do, your mindset around anything you are doing is the most important piece to the puzzle.

If your mind isn’t happy, if what you’re doing doesn’t feel like it’s the ‘new you’, it’s not going to last.

Again, hence the name Brainy Betties-mindset it THAT important.

Want to hear the “best” part to this story?

Not only do these mindsets negatively affect your exercise, but (since everything in our brain is connected) it also affects other areas of your health as well.

It’s a domino effect.

How it Potentially Affects Your Food

The mainstream fitness and diet media has also contributed to people having their food and their exercise psychologically linked.

And this looks like:

“Well, I didn’t workout today, so I might as well just “cheat” on my food and get back on track tomorrow.”

How many times have we said we’re just going to start over tomorrow? Only for tomorrow to either never come,

OR

When it does, we repeat this same cycle AGAIN?

This is why these mindsets don’t work in the real world-they lead to perfectionism aka ‘The All or Nothing’ mindset.

You can read about how our food also can affect our exercise in the first post of this series: Why Brainy Betties was Created Post #1 Mindset Around Food.

How it Potentially Affects Your Self-Image

Every time we fail with food or fitness (or anything), it makes us see OURSELVES as a failure.

This makes it harder for our brain to see us as successful in the future.

Every time we fail, it makes it harder and harder to be successful.

Not in reality, but just as our brain views it (unless we do something about it.)

Again, hence why getting our brain and our mindsets in the right place is of the utmost importance.

How it Potentially Affects Your Whole Life

Continuing to fail will eventually make most people give up completely.

Potentially going through an entire life with less physical activity and less happiness than they could have.

And of course less than they deserve.

These mindsets make fitness feel like a constant uphill battle. But, it doesn’t have to

Fitness is for everyone. You just have to tweak the process to make it fit YOU as an individual.

Not try to fit YOUSELF to some mass-produced process.

So How Do You Change These Mindsets?

Get Out of The ‘All or Nothing’ Mindset

Understand that perfection doesn’t exist well in real life and it’s the enemy of long-term success.

It will eventually exhaust you.

Get Accurate Exercise Science Advice So You Can Be Efficient

It’s not about annihilating yourself or being in pain. It’s about making your body stronger and more fit.

Anyone off the street could send you through a workout of pain.

But, only one that understands how the body actually works, can turn you into your most optimal self-and help you do it for the rest of your life.

Understand More is NOT Always Better

Understand your rest periods are just as important as your workouts themselves. Our bodies don’t actually change when we are strength training. They change when we are resting.

We just signal a change to happen during our workout.

So, when we are working out too much and not doing proper program design, we are taking ourselves further away from where we want to be.

More is not always better. Annihilating yourself is not better. Better program design is better!

Program design that’s based around SOLID science. Not a fad that SOUNDS like science.

How You Can Find Programs/People You Trust

If you ever hear anyone or any company say, “I’ve got the secret” or “This is the greatest thing ever” or “This is the only way to do it”, that’s your cue to run.

There is no secret. There’s just solid science that PROFESSIONALS will use in different ways.

Anyone that really knows what they’re doing isn’t going to try and scam you into being their customer or client by throwing pseudoscience at you.

Or science in any respect that you’re not going to understand.

They’re going to want what’s best for you. And what’s best for you is them educating you in a way that you can understand, so you can make a sound, solid decision FOR YOURSELF.

Just understand that for long-term success, you need the right marriage of science and mindset.

Science to be efficient, mindset to make it yours, and both to make it last.

And whoever you choose to help you do this, is up to you.

Be Fit AND Happy!

~Ashley

Click here if you want to work on your relationship with food so you can be Fit AND Happy!

 

Posts in the Why We Were Created Series:

1.     Mindset Around Food

2.     Mindset Around Exercise

3.     Mindset Around Self 

4.     Mindset Around Life (Not yet written)

5.     Food, Exercise, Life, and Self-How They’re All Intertwined (Not yet written)

6.     Food, Exercise, Life, and Self-A Cultural Problem (Not yet written)

7.     Education that Gets to the Bottom of Deeper Behavioral Issues (Not yet written)

8.     Education that Can Be Individualized (Not yet written)

9.     A Cure for Information Overload (Not yet written) 

Why Brainy Betties was Created: Post #1 Mindset Around Food

 
AshleyShoborg-51.jpg
 

*This is post 1 in the Why We Were Created Series. See bottom for full list.

The Fitness Industry (as a whole) is Missing the Mark

The mainstream fitness media screws you out of long-term results and happiness because it completely avoids talking mindset around your food, your exercise, your life, and yourself.

But, here’s the problem:

Your mind controls EVERYTHING you do.

And the way these companies market and push their products actually INCREASES your poor mindset around all of those things-this keeps you struggling and “needing” to come back for their products.

This is because they are selling you rules.

Not guidelines and teaching you how to mold them to your unique self and life. Which is how you get long-term results

There are Amazing People in the Industry

Just FYI, there ARE amazing people in this industry talking mindset.

Just not enough.

Hence reason #1 why Brainy Betties was born: Mindset Around Food.

How Your Mindset Around Food Affects Your Results, Life, and Happiness

You Can Get Short-Term Results Without Addressing Mindset, But Not Long-Term Results

Not while being happy at least. Why?

Reason #1: Food Rules are Band-Aids

Many times people subscribe to food rules to try and get a grip on their food intake (and this works in the short-term!). But, really this is just putting Band-Aids on underlying issues.

And this is why eventually they end up failing.

You can push through something for a while, but in the end, the real you/problems with your food re-surface.

For long-term results, you need to create a relationship with food that isn’t relying on willpower.

This is one where you understand how different foods/food combos affect your body and cravings. And one that deals with underlying mindset issues (all or nothing, situational eating, shame/overeat cycle.

You NEED to have a healthy relationship with food to be successful long-term.

You’re Living in a Bubble

You can live in a bubble for a while. But, once real life hits, you’re screwed.

You’re living in a bubble because living by rules doesn’t allow you to adjust to the normal ebbs and flows of real life: stress, lack of sleep, tight schedule, emotional rollercoasters etc.

If you aren’t dealing with your actual relationship with food (mindset) you aren’t able to deal with life’s normal ebbs and flows.

All things that are normal, that you WILL encounter, and will pop your bubble.

How Food Rules and Living in a Bubble (the way the mainstream media presents eating) Further Messes with Your Long-Term Results

It Affects Your Relationship with Yourself

When these food rules fail you, it makes you feel like a loser and that you’re the reason you aren’t successful.

And each time you are unsuccessful, it makes it harder to be successful in the future just because you think you can’t be.

Even though this isn’t true.

But, try telling your brain that when it feels like it’s tried EVERYTHING in the past and has been unsuccessful.

It Affects Your Relationship with Your Exercise

Many times when people start a fitness program or a diet, their food and exercise are very much psychologically linked.

Meaning, if they “screw up” their eating they think, “Well, what’s the point of exercising since I already ate crappy?”

And this can work in the reverse too, “Well, I didn’t workout today, so I might as well just “cheat” on my food and get back on track tomorrow.”

As you can see, when your food is linked to your exercise (in any way other than fueling your workouts) it can be detrimental. Especially when our relationship with food is based on rules and ‘black and white’/ ‘all or nothing’ thinking because it’s just too easy to be derailed.

We are not compartmentalized beings. One thing affects the other and that thing effects something else.

Which brings me to my next point…

It Affects Your Whole Life

I think this point is pretty straight forward, but I will point it out anyways. When something is derailing your food, exercise, and how you feel about yourself as a whole, it’s obviously going to impact the quality of your whole life.

Thinking that these diets and food rules are the only way to get healthy can lead us into a life of yo-yoing with our weight, on and off exercise cycles, poor self-image etc.

Adding this all up can lead to life of poor physical health. Or at the very least, less than what we are capable of and deserve.

Soooo, Long Story Short

One of the many reasons Brainy Betties has been created is to help women with their relationship with their food so they can be Fit AND Happy for the rest of their lives.

Be Fit AND Happy!

~Ashley

Click here if you want to work on your relationship with food so you can be Fit AND Happy!

*I will be writing the rest of this series in the upcoming weeks.

Posts in the Why We Were Created Series:

1.     Mindset Around Food

2.     Mindset Around Exercise 

3.     Mindset Around Self

4.     Mindset Around Life (Not yet written)

5.     Food, Exercise, Life, and Self-How They’re All Intertwined (Not yet written)

6.     Food, Exercise, Life, and Self-A Cultural Problem (Not yet written)

7.     Education that Gets to the Bottom of Deeper Behavioral Issues (Not yet written)

8.     Education that Can Be Individualized (Not yet written)

9.     A Cure for Information Overload (Not yet written) 

What Is A Brainy Betty?

 
 

A Brainy Betty is a smart, confident, and healthy woman who understands her mind can be her greatest asset OR her biggest downfall.

She prioritizes her health and well-being because she understands it affects everything she touches.

Ultimately, a Brainy Betty maintains her health and fitness with ease. She has learned that in order to be successful in the long-run she needs to understand what her unique body likes and what it doesn't. She has gotten to know her body inside and out.

She understands that her fitness doesn't live in a bubble. And how she lives her WHOLE life affects her ability to be fit and stay fit.

A Brainy Betty loves herself for the uniqueness she brings to the world. She knows she wants to be 100% the best version of HERSELF. 

Are You Ready to Become a Brainy Betty?