Why Telling Yourself You Love Your Body Isn’t Working…and What Will

 
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Have you tried telling yourself you love your body?

Are you wondering why it’s not working?

It’s not working because loving your body isn’t your problem.

Your problem is…..

Your self-worth is on your body.

Before you click away, hear me out for a second….

First of all, there is no judgement when I say you have your worth on your body-because this is what you’ve been taught to do.

You’ve been taught, that unless you look like the very narrow (and often digitally created AKA fake) American beauty standard, you aren’t good enough….you aren’t worthy.

And trust me, I know because I have been there! Boy, have I been there. I have went to the ends of the earth trying to “love” my body, “fix” my body, or whatever you want to call it.

But, really, I just wanted to be happy.

I wanted to be able to live in my body every day and love myself and my life.

And I am finally here. But, I guarantee you, I didn’t get here from telling myself I love my body.

In a very over simplified nutshell, I got here from realizing…

I AM NOT my body and I AM NOT an ornament for other people to look at.

My worthiness and what I bring to the world has nothing to do with my appearance.

***This doesn’t mean I don’t care about my appearance, or that I don’t take pride in my appearance. It just means I know that I AM NOT my appearance.

And that if I decide to make an appearance change, I know it’s because I WANT TO DO IT…not because our culture is telling me that it’s something I NEED to do to be worthy.

My worthiness and my appearance are no longer linked.

Telling Yourself You Love Body Isn’t Bad

Unless it becomes a distraction from you dealing with the actual issue….where you have your worthiness-which is usually what happens.

Or

If its making you think that you have to actively love your body to be happy.

Because you don’t.

You just have to respect it and stop hating on the parts you’ve been taught to think are “flaws.”

I know this might sound crazy, but you can have stretch marks, saggy skin, and more fat than what our culture considers “ideal” and still be happy.

The trick is to stop attaching negative emotion to those things.

Stop attaching emotion to them at all.

The two of you can co-exist in peace if you just acknowledge they’re there, don’t negatively react to them, and move on with your day.

In the same sense that you can work in an office with someone you don’t like and not hate your life.

Because she is not you, you are not her, and you have control in how you react to a situation.

Remember, you ARE NOT your stretch marks, saggy skin, or fat. And they are not you. 

They might be along for your ride, but they ARE NOT WHO YOU ARE. And they only become negative when you feed them with negative emotion.  

this doesn’t mean that you can’t desire to change certain things about your body.

If you CAN change them and are willing to do the necessary work, then fine.

****But, understand, you don’t want this coming from a place of hate or unworthiness. Because you can’t hate yourself into happiness and loving yourself.

Been there, done that. Doesn’t work. Save yourself the misery.

But, if it’s something you can’t change, there’s a lot of power in learning to accept what is, and love yourself as a whole being regardless.

***Loving yourself as a whole being is something you want to do anyways even if you do want to make a change.

Taking Your Worthiness Off of Your Body Is a Big Part of Becoming Fit AND Happy

To experience the freedom of being fit AND happy, you have to stop obsessing over your body.

And to do this, you have to take your worthiness off of it.

Teaching women how to take their self-worth off their bodies might be my most favorite thing I do at Brainy Betties. Since I have experienced this first hand (and very extremely might I add), I understand how much of an impact this has on a woman’s WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.  

***This is the MAIN reason I created Brainy Betties and why I named it what I did. Because the way you feel about yourself (your MINDSET around yourself) is what drives your actions with your food, exercise and life.

You can read more about that in the blog series: Why We Were Created

Taking your self-worth off of your body is a combination of:

  • Learning how to deal with cultural shame

  • Learning who your authentic self really is (where your worthiness should be)

  • Learning how to develop a better body image as a whole.

Doing these things sets the stage for your dream life.

Wherever being fit AND happy might bring you.

What Does Being Fit AND Happy Feel Like?

Freedom.

Freedom from obsessing about your body, food, and exercise.

It’s a state of caring for yourself and your body that is surrounded in self-love. Not constantly trying to hate yourself into change.

It’s having the fitness level you want while actually loving the life you’re living (Because it’s driven by self-love AND science.)

This combination of self-love and science takes your life to the next level.

A level of life you might not know exists, but it’s patiently waiting for you to live it.  

Be fit AND Happy!

~Ashley

Do You Want to Take Your Worthiness Off Your Body So You Can Be Fit AND Happy?